Jesus — The Pearl of Great Price

When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth…Jn.16:13

I spent time at almost all the Divine retreat centers and God had a plan for me at each one.

In Tabor Ashram, the Lord brought me to understand how sinful living had deeply affects our relationship with him. It was in the silence one morning before the Blessed Sacrament that a memory was brought to my mind by the Holy Spirit where the person who abused me as a child had asked for my forgiveness, in that memory I remember that in anger I had just walked away never to forgive.

The Holy Spirit showed me that my lack of forgiveness was a sin and the key to my problems. Shock! It was from the preaching of the Word of God that this clear message could come to my consciousness!

The damage of resentment and anger was worse than any molestation. I began to forgive and love. I went to confession continually while at Tabor to empty out all the memories of sinful activities that I had never considered sin. In the USA people are very lax about morals, faith and spiritual practice; “sin” is not an important issue. The Truth was setting me free as all of the sinful areas of my life were exposed.

If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples; and you will know the truth and the truth will make you free.

I read the Bible continuously, eating it in hunger before the Blessed Sacrament at Tabor for hours, days, months. I was shocked; does anyone read this book at all? Fr. Mathew Elumvunkel’s preaching was like sharp daggers coming from the mouth of Jesus to cut away the darkness.

Does anyone care, or even know, what God thinks? The Bible, the Word of God, became my health, comfort, strength and guide. It was only with the help of the Holy Spirit that I was able to understand the messages given.

Jesus was making me new, a new creation, and now He is my everything, my all; to suffer for him, to be with him in heaven and serve him on this earth is what I live for now. Everything else is only rubbish to me now…all the traveling, pleasures, people, honors, money, jobs. I understand St. Paul when he says,”For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things, and I regard them as rubbish in order that I may gain Christ” Phil. 3:8b

Like the Samaritan woman at the well, when Jesus came fully and personally into the wounds of my life I realized that, even in sin, I was only seeking Jesus Christ. He is the most beautiful man who has now saved me from death and darkness.

I have found my pearl of great price.

No Place to Lay my Head

“Seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened for you” Mt. 7:7

The first time I came to India was for fun, pleasure, adventure and to encounter the vast culture and people of India. It was also a time of a collapsed Catholic faith even, yes, apostasy. I have done just about everything in my life: elephant riding in the jungles of Thailand, slow boating down the Mekong in Laos, island hopping in Greece, skiing, surfing the oceans in California, received a fine education and masters in social work.

But, had also been abused me as a child which caused great bouts of depression, anger and continuous disturbances in my life to the extent that it would keep collapsing.

I tried everything to get over these psychological problems–psychologists, psychiatrists, pills, therapies, New Age activities in the very sophisticated culture of California. It was only when I began a real search for what was missing in my soul by returning to an upright Christian life that profound things began to happen to me. I had a dream of crucifixion, the understanding that Jesus who suffered and died must also understand my pain.

Then I began to thirst to return to India only this time to look for worship of Jesus in the same very intense way that I saw Indians worship Durga, Sai Baba, Hanoman, etc.

“Certainly in India is the place where they will know the suffering Christ better than anywhere else in the world” I told myself…So I got a position to volunteer as a teacher in a school in Chalakudy, Kerala in the summer of 2003.

“I know the plans I have for you, plans for your welfare and not your destruction” Jer. 29:11

It was then that the Lord brought me to Divine Retreat Centre. I had no idea that this huge Catholic retreat center existed nor what was going on there.

I came to make a little retreat which became the living answer to all of my thirsts, pains and longings.At first I disliked the retreat, it was not like the meditation I had found in India in the past. So much preaching! But by the last day Jesus Christ touched my inner wound in such a way.

I knew that it was by His wounds I was being healed when He poured His love and mercy into the painful, angry hole in my heart.

Father Augustine’s preaching touched me so deeply; it was like the voice of the Heavenly Father calling to new life the prodigal child. I began to believe that, yes, Jesus was going to really make a change in my life if I could only believe it!

“I have come that they might have life and have it abundantly!” Jn. 10:10

I’ll never forget standing alone in my little room telling myself, “I never want to leave this place!!”

The Gospel is preached with power! People are healed, the poor are cared for and my Catholic Faith is alive and well there!

I took the next step and moved out of California to come back to Divine and see where the Lord led me next!

Proclaim His Deeds and Trust His Providence

“Tell his glory among the nations; among all peoples, his wondrous deeds!” (Ps. 96)

We must always keep praising the Lord for all he is doing in our lives and trust his providential care. When we look to the past, as did those in Old Testament scriptures, it is to remember all the marvels He has done for his people. When we look to the future, it is to trust that He is shaping and preparing the way for His will to be done in us and will provide all things. When we spend much time in prayer, service and worship before the Lord He does provide for all our needs. An incident in my life showed me that this continual thanks, praise and worship is justified even in our sickness and confusion.

Jesus is planning to heal and bless us all the time.

I had a very severe problem of not being able to sleep. For more than a month I would be up in the night almost every hour restless, unable to lie still until 3:00am. It was a case of restless leg syndrome. After getting only 4 hours of sleep it would be time to go to work. I was exhausted and depressed with this problem. I sought spiritual counsel and healing by prayer with many holy priests.

There was another problem in my life which irritated me. My employer had hired me for a position for which he did not need to provide any medical benefits. Without medical insurance in the US one visit to the doctor costs over $100.00. Further treatment and medicines will also be very costly. I resented this injustice and complained to my fellow employees about it all the time. Thus, I refused to go to the doctor with this cost and accompanying resentment. I resolved to solve my problems myself, with prayer or by practicing a healthy lifestyle. After getting prayers from several priests and examining my conscience still, the sleeplessness continued. One nun told me to go to the doctor…still, I delayed.

Then one day, out of the blue, I was given over $300.00 from a benefactor who stated that God told him to give me this money. I was helping out in the service of the Lord at the Divine Retreat Center in New Jersey. In prayer, I asked the Lord why this money was given to me when I had enough money already to pay for my expenses. Then the thought came that I should use it to go to the doctor. What was amazing was that this was just what my healing required; the doctor was very kind, she took a blood test and came up with the solution as due to thyroid and lack of iron. These two deficiencies were the cause of the sleep disorder. The medicine and vitamins were not costly at all. I am completely cured through God’s grace and the physician.

There was also a spiritual healing. No longer do I ever complain about lack of medical insurance since the Lord provided even money to force me to go to the doctor and provide for this need. He is my Provider, not my employer. “The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing.” (Ps. 23:1) My stubbornness and pride were also conquered; the doctor is provided by the Lord and is also to be seen when he so wills it. “My son, when you are sick do not neglect yourself: but pray to the Lord and he shall heal you.
Turn away from sin…and cleanse your heart from all offense….then give place to the physician. For the Lord created her and let her not depart from you, for the physician’s works are necessary…For there is a time when you must fall into their hands…” (Sirach 38:9-13) What a wonderful spiritual and physical healing the Lord has done in my life!

Thank you Jesus for your providential care.

Don’t Understand God’s Will? You are not Alone.

“Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he said to them…His mother treasured all these things in her heart. (Lk. 2:49-50)

Mary and Joseph did not understand the word of God, yet they were privileged to spend most of their lives in the presence of Jesus.

How important is understanding when we are following our vocation, God’s plan in our lives? Must we reject the path of simple trust, meditation and prayer because things happen to us beyond our control?

Mary simply kept the words and works of Jesus in her heart, in quiet meditation. God’s
perfect will was accomplished in her life. This is the basis of saying the rosary: the
pondering of Jesus/ God’s plan of salvation.

We do not need to understand, simply believe and trust! Thus, we Christians are always be characterized by joy. The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy (Jn. 10:10) our joy when we begin to act in a worldly way. We begin to resent people or situations that cause us suffering or
discomfort.

We begin to become agitated in our confused and sometimes hateful mind. We become arrogant and try to do things ourselves. Look at the life of Mary and ponder what suffering she continuously experienced since her vocation to be the Mother of God began at the annunciation. Saying the rosary frequently when we are in difficulties can help us to follow God’s plan in trust.

It is so difficult for a three year old to keep up with a parent’s gait. God’s plans at times may seem too much for us, but that is no reason to sit down, pout and have a temper tantrum. We are called to pray and receive the Holy Spirit who will give us the wings to keep up with the Father and the Son!

The rosary calms the mind, keeps us joyfully pondering Jesus. This prayer gives us something to do
with our anxiety! (Phil. 4:6-7)

We should know where the Lord is leading us and keep out of all sin. After this, we must continue to pray and ask for the help to complete His will. We do not need to understand it all. Mary pondered the life of Jesus and his words in her heart. We can do the same to remain calm and strong by saying the rosary. In our lack of understanding let us remain close to our Mother and her simple, humble way of being with Jesus.

Meditate on moments in Mary’s life which were difficult for her to understand:

Annunciation
Christ’s birth in a manger
Finding Jesus in the Temple
Standing at the foot of the Cross
Death of the innocents
Death of Joseph
Betrayal of Judas
Martyrdom of apostles
Her silent role in salvation

The Power of Eucharistic Adoration

“Look to Him and be radiant; so your faces shall never be ashamed” (Ps. 34:5)

During my Bible College experience at Divine Retreat Centre I have felt most blessed and privileged to be in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament adored and exposed in several locations throughout the campus. I may have taken for granted His Presence filling my day and comforting my soul in the night. Over the holiday break I visited Orissa and there interviewed a sister who had lived through the horror of the 2008 Kandhamal persecution. Her testimony enabled me to gain a new appreciation for the power of intercession and adoration of the Blessed Sacrament.

Sr. Mary P. of the Daughters of Charity narrated her story of being in their girls school when the destruction broke out. She, with 11 sisters, 35 girls and 3 priests took refuge in the hostel as the safest place to escape attack; at the same time they set up the Blessed Sacrament in one of the rooms for adoration/intercession. As they heard the nearby structures explode they continued to pray for deliverance before the Eucharistic Presence of Jesus throughout the night into the next day. The 3 priests decided to escape into hiding in the forest to protect the sisters and girls; meanwhile the vigil continued with the day and time scheduled for the destruction of the school and church given via telephone warning. Although the government forces were supposed to reach them before that time they could not advance through the tremendous road blocks put up by the opposition.

I lift my eyes to the hills–from where will my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. (Ps. 121, 1-2)

All in all no one protected nor saved them but the Lord Himself as they clung to Him in vigil. Even though every sign of Christianity (churches, homes, etc.) had been destroyed in their town in Raika not a hair of their heads had been touched nor a brick of the Church, convent or school destroyed.

Because you have made the Lord your refuge, the Most High your dwelling place, no evil shall befall you, no scourge come near your tent. (Ps. 91,9-10)

In fact, their whole complex was then used as a refugee camp where the sisters were able to show the love of God through their comforting presence to all the homeless, persecuted Christians. This story touched me very much; our Lord is a mighty God but one who chooses to remain hidden, simple and poor in the bread of the Eucharist.

It is most important that we understand the gift of Eucharist and how powerful it is when we truly pray and worship His Real Presence. Jesus told the Samaritan woman, “You people worship what you do not understand; we worship what we understand…” (Jn. 4:22, N.A.B.). It is clear here that Jesus expects us to worship with intelligence and full understanding. Our year of study of His Word helps us to worship in this way.

Most of us are familiar with the Bible verses which refer to the Blessed Sacrament and hear them repeated in daily Mass. The Church’s teachings bring light and depth to our understanding of the mystery of Eucharist.

The Eucharist is the source and summit of the Christian life. the other sacraments, and indeed all ecclesiastical ministries and works of the apostolate, are bound up with the Eucharist and are oriented toward it. CCC 1324
…by this sacrifice he pours out the graces of salvation on his Body which is the Church. CCC 1407

In brief, the Eucharist is the sum and summary of our faith…CCC 1327

In the most blessed sacrament of the Eucharist “the body and blood, together with the soul and divinity, of our Lord Jesus Christ and, therefore, the whole Christ is truly, really, and substantially contained. This presence is called ‘real’–by which is not intended to exclude the other types of presence as if they could not be ‘real’ too, but because it is presence in the fullest sense: that is to say, it is a substantial presence by which Christ, God and man, makes himself wholly and entirely present. CCC 1211

When we come before the Blessed Sacrament in the chapel being adored we must recollect ourselves to know that Jesus it truly present there, as explained in the above passages. A Presence which cost him his life.

Since Christ was about to take his departure from his own in his visible form, he wanted to give us his sacramental presence; since he was about to offer himself on the cross to save us, he wanted us to have the memorial of the love with which he loved us “to the end,” even to the giving of his life. In his Eucharistic presence he remains mysteriously in our midst as the one who loved us and gave himself up for us, and he remains under signs that express and communicate this love. CCC 1380

When we come before Jesus in his Eucharistic Presence to adore, love, spend time and thank Him we are affirming to Him that ‘yes’ we do believe what he said when he changed the bread into his body; we prove our deep faith by kneeling and bowing before the Eucharist.

St. John Chrysostom declares: It is not man that causes the things offered to become the Body and Blood of Christ, but he who was crucified for us, Christ himself. The priest, in the role of Christ, pronounces these words, but their power and grace are God’s. This is my body, he says. This word transforms the things offered. CCC 1375

John Paul the II had a deep love for the Eucharist and devotion to this gift, the height and summit of our whole faith. He encouraged devotion to Eucharistic Adoration.

The Church and the world have a great need for Eucharistic worship. Jesus awaits us in this sacrament of love. Let us not refuse the time to go to meet him in adoration, in contemplation full of faith, and open to making amends for the serious offense and crimes of the world. Let our adoration never cease.

Simply spending time before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament is conducive to developing intimacy with Him. Are not intimate friends always happy to share quiet time together? Jesus calls his disciples to “be with Him” (Mk. 3:14) and so the serious disciple of Christ will expose mind and heart to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament–often!

When we come before Jesus in the Sacrament to intercede, worship and adore remember that story from Sr. Mary who actually witnessed her whole mission saved during their Adoration vigil. Believe that, besides the personal blessing, your prayer before Our Eucharistic Lord is also helping someone somewhere in the world in a similar struggle against evil.
Let our adoration never cease! JPII

The Steady Work of Intercession

The title is not too appealing, nor is prayer when it gets tedious or boring.

But here is an allegory for steady prayer that came to me after a day of prayer, fasting, Holy Mass and Adoration. In the Gospel (Mt. 14:22) Jesus makes His disciples row across the Lake of Galilee while he himself would remain behind to pray alone.

They dutifully began their work of steadily rowing across that unpredictable Lake in obedience to the Master. Eventually, they met with such a strong wind that it took all their strength just to keep the boat afloat. This can be compared to the work of intercession. The steady, constant task of moving the oar against the pull of the waters is the prayer of faith pushing upon the forces of the world and evil itself.

Now, there are different kinds of prayers to be applied to this work, like different strokes and some calculations about the impending struggle ahead. Then, just as it seems the chaos, darkness, depression and hopeless fears are overwhelming our small work of prayer, the anointing comes.

Jesus appears to that little boat on the huge Lake to provide comfort and victory! We are so happy then we feel like Peter–ready even to walk on the waters because with our small seeds of faith pushing perseveringly against some worldly barrier we are, with Jesus, always victorious! “Nothing is impossible with God” (Lk. 1:37).

Continue to pray, fast, bend the knee and sweat until the Lord comes to reward your efforts with His very wonderful Presence! Row, Row, Row your boat even in the storm until you meet the Lord coming to you on the waters. It is a very exciting adventure, this intercession, after all!

“The Lord is near. Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:5b-7)

Being with Jesus In Intercessory Prayer

I love intercession for this reason; it is spending time with Jesus.

Jesus wants intercessors! Remember he requested the company and serious intercession of Peter, John and James during his agony of prayer in the Garden.

Jesus even paused while carrying his cross to ask the women of Jerusalem to pray for the innocents of the world who would also be victims of evil. Jesus requested we never give up in our prayer (Lk. 18:1) and he himself is recorded as constantly going off to lonely places to pray. Jesus wants us to be with Him in prayer about everything and especially in that work of charity- intercession for others.

This past month I spent some weeks at Divine Retreat Center in Muringoor, Kerala where, after my retreat, I felt moved to join the Intercessors. After asking the priest director I was assigned to pray with a couple of other women in one of the many chapels in the English section.

We were given designated prayers to say for the Center. My leader was a Hindi speaking woman from West Bengel. We sang praises, prayed rosaries, Stations of the Cross and so forth for eight hours per day in shifts of two hours each.

During these hours memories from my past kept surfacing and at one point I was so restless I felt the need to go to confession again. The Holy Spirit was purifying me.

Sometimes it was difficult to show up there in front of the Blessed Sacrament. It was challenging to persevere in prayer with my companions, praying loudly with all of our strength in that heat on the hard, granite floor.

Yet, after a couple of weeks I felt some release, freedom and deep peace. It was not all the prayers, it was who we were spending this time with that was so special. J

esus was guiding us and opening his heart to us! It is His work, this intercessory prayer…it is not something we have decided to do… He started this work of intercession.

It is a Godly, holy work bringing peace to humanity and satisfaction to the heart of our Jesus. When we are doing intercession we are spending time with Jesus… while he suffers and continues to intercede for all of fallen humanity to find salvation and be saved. It is a work of being close to Him in his agony and longing. It is a personal time and time to grow closer to Him who loves us all so much. In Praise and Thanks to Him forever!

A Physical & a Spiritual Healing!

“Tell his glory among the nations; among all peoples, his wondrous deeds!” (Ps. 96)

We must always keep praising the Lord for all he is doing in our lives and trust his providential care. When we look to the past, as did those in Old Testament scriptures, it is to remember all the marvels He has done for his people. When we look to the future, it is to trust that He is shaping and preparing the way for His will to be done in us and will provide all things. When we spend much time in prayer, service and worship before the Lord He does provide for all our needs.

An incident in my life showed me that this continual thanks, praise and worship is justified even in our sickness and confusion. Jesus is planning to heal and bless us all the time.

I had a very severe problem of not being able to sleep. For more than a month I would be up in the night almost every hour restless, unable to lie still until 3:00am. It was a case of restless leg syndrome. After getting only 4 hours of sleep it would be time to go to work. I was exhausted and depressed with this problem. I sought spiritual counsel and healing by prayer with many holy priests.

There was another problem in my life which irritated me. My employer had hired me for a position for which he did not need to provide any medical benefits. Without medical insurance in the US one visit to the doctor costs over $100.00.

Further treatment and medicines will also be very costly. I resented this injustice and complained to my fellow employees about it all the time. Thus, I refused to go to the doctor with this cost and accompanying resentment. I resolved to solve my problems myself, with prayer or by practicing a healthy lifestyle. After getting prayers from several priests and examining my conscience still, the sleeplessness continued. One nun told me to go to the doctor…still, I delayed.

Then one day, out of the blue, I was given over $300.00 from a benefactor who stated that God told him to give me this money. I was helping out in the service of the Lord at the Divine Retreat Center in New Jersey. In prayer, I asked the Lord why this money was given to me when I had enough money already to pay for my expenses.

Then the thought came that I should use it to go to the doctor. What was amazing was that this was just what my healing required; the doctor was very kind, she took a blood test and came up with the solution as due to thyroid and lack of iron. These two deficiencies were the cause of the sleep disorder. The medicine and vitamins were not costly at all. I am completely cured through God’s grace and the physician.

There was also a spiritual healing. No longer do I ever complain about lack of medical insurance since the Lord provided even money to force me to go to the doctor and provide for this need. He is my Provider, not my employer. “The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing.” (Ps. 23:1) My stubbornness and pride were also conquered; the doctor is provided by the Lord and is also to be seen when he so wills it.

“My son, when you are sick do not neglect yourself: but pray to the Lord and he shall heal you. Turn away from sin…and cleanse your heart from all offense….then give place to the physician. For the Lord created her and let her not depart from you, for the physician’s works are necessary…For there is a time when you must fall into their hands…” (Sirach 38:9-13)

What a wonderful spiritual and physical healing the Lord has done in my life! Thank you Jesus for your providential care.

Beautiful Reasons for Praying the Rosary Even More

Often Father Gabriel Amorth, Chief Exorcist of the Vatican writes: One day a colleague of mine heard the devil say during an exorcism, “Every Hail Mary is like a blow on my head. If Christians knew how powerful the Rosary was, it would be my end.” The secret that makes this prayer so effective is that the Rosary is both prayer and meditation. It is addressed to the Father, to the Blessed Virgin, and to the Holy Trinity, and is a meditation centered on Christ.

I write in addition to the above: Please enunciate each word of the Rosary clearly and distinctly. Do not trample on the heels of the words of anyone with your words.. Do not speak over the leader if you are following or the respondent if you are leading the Rosary. Remember that they also are having a conversation with Mary Our Mother and it is not polite to speak when someone else is speaking.

In the case of the public Rosary there are only two people speaking: the Leader and the respondents. Each is speaking to the Blessed Mother and listening carefully to her response within their hearts as they meditate on the scene before them in their consideration of the mystery being spoken of and interpreted and translated into their lives.

Spread this powerful prayer of exorcism, the Rosary, which contains the Our Father, the Perfect Prayer, prayed five times in the recitation of each set of the Rosary’s Mysteries (plus one at the beginning), backed up by the powerful prayers of Our Mother who prays with us as we pray 53 Hail Mary’s.

The Eternal Father described to a group of us, through a Visionary Friend of mine, what happens when we pray the Rosary, saying, “When you pray Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us sinners now.., the Blessed Mother comes instantly to your side to pray with you. And she does not come alone. She brings angels with her. And not just one or two for she is the Queen of Angels, so choirs of angels come with her. And she and Jesus are joined at the heart and cannot be separated so she brings Jesus with her. And Jesus cannot be separated from the Trinity so He brings the Father and the Holy Spirit with Him.

And where the Holy Trinity is, all of creation is, and you are surrounded by such beauty and light as you cannot imagine in this life. Your Mother comes as Our Lady of Grace with her hands outstretched. Rays of light emit from her hands piercing your body, healing you and filling you with graces. This is your inheritance which was poured out from the heart of Jesus on the Cross, when the centurion pierced His Heart with the spear, into the only pure vessel ready to receive such graces at that time, Your Mother.

Now as you pray the Rosary, or even just recite one Hail Mary, you receive your portion of these graces. He also said at this time, “Anyone who goes to Mary and prays the Rosary cannot be touched by Satan.”

Is it any wonder that anyone who prays the Rosary from the heart is so blessed and protected and powerful in their prayers for others?

Be Still & see Him come!

Look how Jesus comes!

First, whispered to a Woman by an angel (Lk.1:28). Dreamt, by a man, in the stillness of the night (Mt. 1:20-23).

His unborn presence stirs another infant to leap with joy in the womb! (Lk. 1:41-43). He does not come to the busy, bustle and fuss of the city of Bethlehem; nor is he born in the supremely important capital of religious heritage-Jerusalem. In fact, three foreigners disturb that city when they come and announce the birth of its Messiah and King (Mt. 2:2-3).

No, no, no. Jesus is not sent there.

Jesus comes hidden, small, vulnerable unknown to the worldly minded. Jesus first comes to humanity in stillness and great humility. His life is marked by lowliness (Phil. 2:6-8).

Be still and search for that quiet place within.

Even the shepherds were instructed by the angels to leave their jobs to make time to adore Him, newborn in the stable. In prayer, quietly hold the baby Jesus in your heart; imagine being surrounded by the stars in the cool night with the only sound the soft bleating of sheep.

Be still and quiet with Him.

He will give you peace, joy and happiness (Mt. 11:28-30). This is a new year! Jesus coming into our own small, poor, quiet hearts. Let Him come there first! Come, Lord Jesus, into our hearts, families forever and always! Amen! (Rev. 22:20)

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