Reflections on Gethsemane

One of the most poignant and heart rending scenes in the Bible is that of Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. I believe this is where we see the Humanity of Jesus so clearly and distinctly. Where He takes on our frail human nature with all its vulnerability.

We see Him go to the Garden of Gethsemane with Peter, James and John in tow. His closest apostles. Those who saw His glory when He was transfigured at Mount Tabor. They will now see His frailty at the Mount of Olives.

Jesus wanted His apostles to share not just His glorious moments, but also His moments of deepest anguish.

I think how that contrasts with me happily sharing about my successes, good things that come my way, but being quiet about the unpleasant stuff; going into a shell when times are bad and not wanting people to know what I’m going through…

He tells them His soul is sorrowful unto death. Deep distress has engulfed Him. He desires the company of His Friends. So human.

He feels disappointed when instead He sees them fast asleep. Not once or twice, but all three times.
He can identify with our hurt and disappointment when we go through hard times and our friends do not stand by us. When our friends cannot grasp the depth of our pain; cannot fathom the anguish deep within.

We see Him pleading with His Father to take away the cup of suffering, to let the hour pass Him by. I think of how we too recoil from suffering. Our flesh revolts, tries to avoid suffering. And Jesus understands this, because He has been there too.

He knows the horrors that await Him, but I think what really gets to Him is that He knows He will feel abandoned and forsaken by His Father Whom He was so closely and intimately united with. As He is taking on Himself the sins of all of us, He will also feel the sense of alienation and desolation that one who has wandered from the loving arms of God feels.

But what strikes me are His words- Not My Will, but Yours. Total submission to The Father’s Will. He chose to be obedient to His Father, to accept and drink the cup of suffering to its dregs. He did not tell The Father, He would accept the scourging but not the crucifixion. That He didn’t mind being crowned with thorns, but did not want to be stripped. And thus, He is an example to all of us of implicit obedience to The Father’s Will. Of saying yes even when the cost is too great, the price is high.

When it means giving up things that will take us away from fulfilling God’s mandate for our lives. When it means taking the road that is rough and hard and obstacle ridden, instead of the easy, smooth road. When it means letting go of our ideas, dreams, wishes, plans and ambitions which may be good but not HIS will for us and letting His desires become our desires.

When it means dying to ourselves, so that the glory of God is reflected more clearly and brightly through us.

Rejoice in The Lord.. Always?

There are times and situations in life when the words “Rejoice in the Lord always” seem so out of place.

How can one rejoice when one is going through a difficult time- a death in the family, a terminal illness, betrayal by a loved one, getting laid off from a job, being the victim of malicious gossip..? How can one find “joy in the journey” when the journey is long and tiring, the skies are dark, the path is strewn with stones and pebbles, when one feels friendless and alone?

Recently, I went through some tough times. And it was amazing because just after having a difficult conversation which left me rather weepy, I heard an amazing talk on “Joy in unlikely places.” Every word spoke to my situation. And I remember thinking; the Israelite had to wait for 700 years for the prophecy of the Messiah to be fulfilled but thankfully, we don’t have to wait that long to know the comfort of The God Who loves us so much.

I also remember what I heard in that sharing was so timely, so providential - The Lord God knew I would go through a time of pain that morning and so, also comforted me with those words, truly, He binds up the brokenhearted, He bandages their wounds, He strikes us but He will also heal us.

I also understood that morning that joy comes from knowing the unchanging, unconditional love of a faithful God. Thus, even in the midst of disaster, I can be truly joyful because I know I am loved by a God Who is in control even when all else seems chaotic and out of control. I will still grieve, I will still shed tears, but there is always light at the end of the tunnel, hope springs eternal, His love will take me through the worst storm, His grace will sustain me.

I made a decision to be deliberate about choosing joy. Now, this does not mean that I go about with a plastic smile on my face declaring ‘ALL EEJ WELL”. No, that would be fake. It does not mean that I deny the reality of my circumstances and pretend I have no pain.

To me, choosing joy means acknowledging what is happening around me, accepting that this is a difficult time, even mourning and grieving; but simultaneously looking to God, proclaiming He is sovereign, He is in control and He knows what He is doing, even when I don’t really understand. And, that He will hold me together when everything seems to be falling apart; nothing can separate me from His love, nothing will ever diminish His love for me and there is NOTHING that He cannot handle.

With this frame of mind, yes, it is possible to Rejoice in the Lord always!

Lost and Found

Recently my darling pet dog Raffy ran away when the front door was open for a little while.

I went to search for him; at first, thinking he might be in the building compound itself, I did not change from my nightclothes. However, there was no sign of him. Thinking it would not be appropriate to go looking for him on the road, dressed in my nightclothes, I went home, changed and resumed my search. I went left, then right, asking people on the road if they had seen him. No luck.

I kept praying and suddenly, The Lord inspired me to return to my building and search in the compound. Voila, as I turned a corner, he came bounding towards me and meekly allowed me to put on his leash and lead him home.

As I was getting dressed to go to Church later, it suddenly struck me. The dog was so happy (and relieved) when I found him, because he thought he was lost. I remembered how when God found me, I was happy in the initial phases. Then, slowly, there was pressure from people in general to conform to what their idea of “someone who is with The Lord” should be. “If you are with the Lord, you cannot do this.” “If you are with the Lord, you cannot do that.” “You cannot wear these clothes.” “You cannot go there.” I began to view God as a killjoy.

In my weakest moments, I even began thinking, “My friends have all the fun. Why didn’t God find me 10 years later????” I completely understood what Adam and Eve must have felt when the serpent pointed out to them that God had denied them access to the fruit of “that” tree. Like them, I too took my eyes off the many things God had blessed me with and only focused on what He had “denied” me. There were times of intense struggle between what was spiritual and what was of my flesh. Occasionally, my flesh won.

But through it all, God was faithful.

He pursued me like the Hound of Heaven, finding me time and again when I chose to follow the way of the world and get lost. When I fell into pits, God would come and lift me out of them. When I got entangled in thorny bushes, God would extricate me from them. Experiencing His relentless love and limitless mercy, I “found” God. As in, understood that He was a Loving Father, Whose love did not fluctuate like the sensex, Whose love is unconditional, Whose love is unchanging. I saw Him as a Good Shepherd Who would go after the lost sheep and bring it back to safety.

Even the 10 Commandments which earlier seemed restrictive, with all the “Thou shall nots” were examples of His Fatherly love for me. I understood that if I was a parent, I too would have rules for my children, because I love them.

Because I do not want them to go astray. Because I want them to do well in life. Because I don’t want them to make the same mistakes. Because by virtue of being older and more experienced, I could see the likely pitfalls if they proceeded in a certain direction. And I thank God that through it all, He loved me and always invited me to return to Him and remain in Him. I thank God that His love endures forever. I thank God that His endless mercy follows me and His goodness will lead me home.

The Bamboo Tree & the Purpose of Suffering

Bible verse: Luke 22:19- “And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.”

There is a story about a bamboo tree that stood tall and proud in his Master’s garden. Because the Master came to admire it every day, the tree felt happy and wanted. One day, the Master told the tree it was needed for a special purpose and would have to be cut down.

The bamboo tree felt sad and angry and it cried for a long time. But because it knew the Master wanted to use him for another purpose, it finally bowed and said, “Take me, Master, cut me down and use me for whatever you will.”

The master took the bamboo tree and cut it down, slashed off all its beautiful branches and leaves, cut it in half and tore out its core. Then he laid the tall tree on the ground, joining it to a clear stream.

The water ran from the stream through the tree’s hollow channel onto the rice fields.
When autumn came, the fields looked magnificent, full of beautiful yellow rice that became the nurturing grain for many people.

The bamboo tree saw this and became happy again. In its health, it was beautiful and glorious; in its brokenness and humility, it became more glorious as the channel of life for many people.

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What do we do when we run out of wine?

John 2, 1-10 which speaks of The Wedding Feast of Cana is one Bible passage that greatly inspires me.

We see Jesus, His Mother and the disciples at a wedding. When the wine runs out, Jesus’ mother somehow comes to know and tells Him, “They have no wine.”

At this juncture, let’s reflect on the pre-wedding day preparations. The families of the bride and groom must have spared no time, effort, money to make sure the wedding reception would go well. They must have spent time deciding on the venue, whom to invite, what the menu and refreshments should be. They must have cooked the best food, acquired the best wine they could afford; in short, gone all out to ensure that the day was one which would be memorable and talked about for a long time to come.

In our lives too, we make plans. We prepare checklists. We go through these lists time and again to see if we have missed out on anything. We even try to anticipate what could possibly go wrong, where the gaps could be, and work to plug them.

And then, something unexpected happens. Something we never thought or prepared for.
Everything gets thrown out of gear.

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On Biblical and Other Modern Stones

While reading Mark 16, 1-8, a couple of things struck me:

1. The women going at sunrise to the tomb to anoint The Body of Jesus
2. The women wondering who would roll away the stone at the entrance of the tomb, and finding out when they reached the tomb that the stone had been rolled away and Jesus had risen.

With regard to the first point, the very fact that the women were going at sunrise to the tomb means they were possibly waiting for the first ray of sunshine so that they could set out. Maybe, it won’t be too far fetched to assume that they hardly slept, if at all. One can see their deep love for Jesus and a desire to serve Him by anointing that same Body that had been so brutally and cruelly treated in the recent past.

Going by the events of Good Friday, I am sure the women were mourning and grieving and the atmosphere was one of sorrow. Had The Body of Jesus been in the tomb, it would certainly not have been a pleasant sight; with holes in The Hands and Feet and lacerations on account of the scourging.

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