The Meaning of ‘Pastoral Care’

There’s a state where men are men and the sheep are nervous.  But we’ll leave that to show that anyone with a staff can be a shepherd.  To lead people, one needs to be a good shepherd like Jesus who would search for the lost sheep then carry it on his shoulders when it’s too tired to walk back.

Tax collectors and whores were like lost sheep and Jesus went after them. He drank with Matthew and allowed Mary to touch him by letting her wipe his feet with her hair. But after that, he asked them to change, “Follow me.  Sin no more.”  He didn’t stop at the drinking and touching.  This is his way of shepherding  – his pastoral method. And while the first part is easy, popular and politically savvy, the follow through is the one that saves.

Some church leaders today get stuck in the first step – seeing, hearing and doing no evil.  But they conveniently justify their inaction as being pastoral to the detriment of the sinner and those affected by his actions. Consider the 60 million children in the US who were brutally slaughtered in their mothers’ wombs because, the supporters and legislators of abortion laws are permitted by their pastors to receive Holy Communion.
If these pols are ignorant about their responsibilities to defend life, how pastoral is it to tacitly look the other way?  If these pols knew the errors of their ways, how pastoral is it to simply let them be?  Either way is to grease the slippery slope to eternal perdition. And with the condemned will be their pastors who were too distracted to notice, too preoccupied to understand,  too lazy to correct, too timid to confront or too scared to discipline.

The pastoral way of the Incarnate God is loving because it is real; and to be real is to be truthful. It does not call evil - good and good - evil.  To be loving without upholding the truth is to be like a dotting parent who spoils the child into a brat. Yet, it proclaims the truth in love.  To uphold the truth without love is to forget that the law was for man and not man for the law.

Understanding the Vow of Chastity. It’s a Spiritual Romance.

We’re created for the love of God.  Some can do it directly - like these nuns.  Others like myself did not receive that special gift of celibate love.  I do it indirectly through married love.  The first one is like going up on a helicopter;  the latter on the stairway.  The spiritual love is obviously better but it does have it’s challenges.

St. John Bosco took the tiger out of the woods and the woods out of the tiger

You can take the tiger out of the woods, but you can’t take the woods out of the tiger.  While the young can be taken away from dangerous surroundings, there are innate tendencies that will still be a source of temptation.  St. John Bosco is aware of these that is why he took the tiger out of the woods, away from the occasions of sin like places and persons.  Moreover, he tried to take the woods out of the tiger.

St. John Bosco’s Goodnight Talk

A small note, but worth a reflection:

St. John Bosco housed homeless boys. Before going to bed, he gave them a “goodnight talk” right after night prayers.  This drew from a event during the day and concluded with a moral lesson. It is short and entertaining - drawing from the lives of the saints or from his visions.  After that, there is the “great silence” as the boys keep a prayerful ambiance of recollection.

I do the same with my kids ages 10,8,7 & 2.  We say our night prayers together consisting of an Our Father, Hail Mary & Glory Be following by an examination of conscience then an Act of Contrition.  After that, I give the talk.

I used Aesop’s fables e.g. the ant and the grasshopper, Gospel stories e.g. the man who built his house on rock and the other on sand, events e.g. the dog getting groomed and then draw a simple moral lesson.  This allows me to explain to the kids the rationale for my policies and help them understand our sacrifices for them.

As St. John Bosco taught, “It is not enough to love the young.  They must know that they are loved.”

By and large, this works as the kids remember the lessons, the rules and the love.

I came under the knife and back again - with tips for you.

I was taken for a heart procedure last week and brought back a few lessons that may be helpful to you.

Before the procedure, I was asked if I had a living will or end of life directive.  I didn’t and my wife doesn’t know if I want to fight on or have the plug yanked in case I’ll turn into a vegetable.

Then I was asked my religion and so was the person next to me.  That cracked me up because my neighbor identified herself as a cafeteria Catholic.

After the interrogation, I was wheeled into the operating room where my groin was shaved.  The female nurse put a skimpy face towel over my pride and joy to give me some assurance of privacy.  At that point, I pretended to be unconscious,  wouldn’t you?  But the doctor kept asking questions so, everyone knew I was conscious.  After a couple of hours the doctor said it was alright.  There won’t be any need for intervention.  I still pretended to be unconscious.  The nurse asked why I was so mellow.  With my groin half shaved and a catheter travelling through my artery, do I have a better choice?

I ended back to the station for monitoring.  I heard that I wasn’t given any anesthesia.  I guess if they don’t hear you wail, scream or groan then you won’t get any.  So, you may want to ask if you ever have this experience.

While laying strapped with tubes, I felt so helpless.  I had to call a nurse to help me pee.  Then there was those moments of solitude.  I did remember to call on an old friend, my Lord Jesus.  I felt him near but not to take me home - not yet.  I sensed a certain disappointment from him about my meaness with Obama and his Catholic supporters.  He seems to say that his way of patience and love will be more effective in the end.  It will be a challenge for me because I hate these Judases with a white heat passion - specially because they facilitate the murder of the weakest and most defenseless: the unborn and the old.

I did have a consolation and that is I tried to follow God’s will most of the time if not always.  I thought of the good that I did when I joined a religious order and taught kids about God.  And my best decision ever was to leave the order because of my doubts about keeping celibacy.  I had a little treasure stashed up in heaven because the Lord saved me and helped me save with an act of love here and there.  How I wish those acts of love were a lot more.  And it is not hard to do.  One needs to forget oneself and forgive others.

But I lived and will see my doctor next week.  He’ll probably tell me to cut down on the red meat.  And I’ll obey.  I’m just in my 50’s and I have 4 young children plus 1 on the way.  Perhaps I can have some more years to my life with life in those years.  It’s up to God’s plan and my cooperation.

More than diet and exercise, I will try to love even my enemies.  I will still expose their deceitfulness and wrong doing but I shall pray for their conversion and not wish them to burn in hell.  I will let go of my resentments and grudges and fight for God and God alone.  I will forgive and let go.  It will be hard but nothing is impossible with God.

Is the Seminary calling for you, or not?

While surfing the net, I often read blog posts about people discerning their religious or priestly calling. I always respond with encouragement; what do they have to lose – time, money, opportunities? As you can see, the seminary experience is still a vibrant part of my life even as I joyfully embrace being a husband & a father.

I entered the seminary after high-school though I wanted to enter earlier. For me, living & working for God alone is the best way to spend one’s life. In view of eternity, every career pales in comparison

But after the first year, I felt uneasy. I confided this to my spiritual director who encouraged me to persevere. This happened every year & I was assured that doubts are normal. By the end of my 9th year of temporary vows, I had to decide to do them for good or not make them at all – at least not then.

Though I had been faithful to my vows, I did not have the “moral certainty” that I could be celibate for life. A priest suggested to make the vows regardless and just get laicized if needed. But I did not want to make any promises that I wasn’t sure of keeping.

So instead, I bailed.

It was hard starting over. I complained to God saying that I’ve given Him the best years of my life & now I couldn’t find a soul mate. After 12 years, I met her. I have marriage vows now & I know I can keep those. And those temporary religious vows that I made & kept gave me the best of both worlds. I speak highly of religious life & the priesthood to my children in case God wants to call them later.

So, if anyone wants to consider the seminary, know that it comes from the word meaning seed. The seed of God’s call needs a protective environment lest the evil one eat it like a bird or the cares of the world strangle it like weeds.

The seminary is place to take care of this call, to hear it clearly & understand it. Sometimes, the call is temporary or is different. But if one goes there with a sincere desire to follow God, then everything will work out even if one will have to leave it to follow God.

Our Lady… in Blue Jeans?

My grandma’s first wages were in US silver dollars. She had them forged into a Rosary then gave them to my mom. I don’t recall seeing my mom use it much but she prayed when she’s in crisis.  When she was visited by a dead aunt who asked about me, she prayed the Hail Mary.  But the aunt did not vanish; she prayed back with the Holy Mary.  I was an infant then but that was my first involvement with the mother of God.

Fast forward to 2nd grade.  I volunteered to bring our statue of Mary for the shrine building contest.  And this happened every year until 6th grade.  Also, I visited the Blessed Sacrament during recess and stopped to talk to a life sized statue of Mary Help of Christians.  Although she didn’t answer (interlocution), I always felt relief and happiness after the talk.

Around 30 years after, I heard about alleged interlocutions at Conyers, GA.  I thought that if our Lady took the trouble to come over, then the least that I can do is to be there.  So, I flew over, slept at a hotel, rented a car and drove to the site at the scheduled date.  When I got there, I walked and looked around for something awesome – like a dancing sun.  But there was nothing except for the realization that God is most offended by abortion.  Upon my return, I called on a few friends to join me in stopping abortions.  Weekends after that, we stood at the gates of the clinics holding pictures of a fetus to show the mother that she’s not popping a zit but killing a person - with a head, torso, arms and legs.  That was a harrowing experience but we came out unscathed; because, we prayed the Rosary every time.

Now for the pièce de résistance.  It was during that campaign when I woke up one Friday morning with the assurance that I will meet the Blessed Mother that day.  There was no nervousness, anxiety or distress.  It felt serene and peaceful with subdued anticipation.  I was off that day so, I visited to the basilica of the Immaculate Conception.  I went to shop below and bought a statue of Our Lady of the Americas.  I don’t know about that apparition, but our Lady is our Lady no matter where she shows up; besides, it was on sale.

Then I went up and strolled into the side chapels – partly praying, partly admiring the art work.  As I left the chapel of Our Lady of Poland, a woman stepped out of the chapel of Our Lady of Guadalupe and greeted me.

She said, “What’s in the bag?” “It’s a statue of our Lady”, I replied.  She asked to see it and I showed her.  “She’s beautiful” she said.  “What’s your name?” I asked.  “Sophia” she answered.  By this time, I smelled the stench of urine from her unwashed jeans.  I also noticed her bare feet with chipping red nail polish.  She wore a white T-shirt, was medium built, around 5’ 6” with fair complexion.  Her hair was flat and long and her face was average - for want of a better term.  She was neither ugly nor beautiful.  Besides, I did not really check her out because at the back of my head, she could be the Blessed Mother.  Long story short, we parted casually although I asked her for prayers after handing her a couple of bucks.  I didn’t know what I was thinking.

Later, I told a priest about it.  He said there are a lot of homeless women in the area.  Then I thought that Mother Mary didn’t have much, if any, after St. Joseph died and the Lord left home to preach.  Was she also homeless when she started to follow her son?  And, “Sophia” is Greek for wisdom; one of her titles is “Seat of Wisdom”.  Finally, she came out of the Guadalupe chapel.  Our Lady of Guadalupe is the Patroness of the Pro-life movement.

But it can all be a coincidence but not for me.  Ever since, our Lady is no longer a person whom I read or heard about.  She’s Sophia who had no place to lay her head yet had time to pray at her Father’s house.   She’s my friend and I am her servant.